A New Guide to Rational Living by Albert EllisMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Context / Why I read this book?
I just finished reading this as 1st book of my 52-books reading challenge that complements my slogan for 2021: "A Year of Ratio & Will".
So my motivation to read "the Guide" was to think, become, and act more "rational" while starting with not even knowing what that term means.
What it is about / is it any good?
To my surprise, the book doesn't focus on logic, mental pitfalls, or cognitive biases. Instead, it addresses so-called irrational believes (IBs) of which we may possess more or less. Believes, which may cause neurosis (self-destructive blaming & damning) and eventually lead to "irrational" behavior.
10 specific such believes are addressed in the book:
1) I MUST have love or approval from all significant people in my life (A dire need for approval)
2) I MUST be competent, adequate, and achieving (A dire fear of failure)
3) All people MUST not act obnoxiously and unfairly all the time (Blaming and Damning)
4) Things in life can be AWFUL, TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, and CATASTROPHIC (Feeling depressed or enraged)
5) If I counter difficult experiences I MUST feel disturbed (Feeling miserable)
6) I MUST obsess about fearsome things and frantically try to escape them (Anxiety and panic)
7) I can avoid difficulties & self-responsibilities and still live a fulfilling life (Lack of will & discipline_)
8) Attachment to the past (If something once strongly influenced my life it HAS to keep affecting my life today)
9) Failing to accept the grim facts of life (People & things MUST be better than they are and it is HORRIBLE if I cannot change them)
10) I can achieve maximum human happiness by inaction and passively enjoying myself (Inertia)
One specific lesson I am taking from it
The book advocates several self-help strategies and practices which I did not try for myself yet. Though they seem very promising since they are based on the author's many years of clinical and empirical experience. So while I surely will return to this book in the future, one specific thing I try to take with me right now is to avoid absolutistic and dogmatic thinking. Since nothing in life is absolute. No definitive MUSTs, SHOULDs, the OUGHTs are warranted to exist in my thinking. And if I ever feel upset for acting self-defeating I will set out to seek hidden musts and similar dogmatic demands in my thinking and try to rid myself of them.
Reading Recommendation / Who should read this?
All in all, this is old but gold! A highly recommended read, no matter your current state of affairs. Even if you are doing fine right now; somewhere down the line you might find yourself developing irrational behavior that may threaten your survival and happiness.
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